Temporary

I am his holiday
a touch of tongue
with fiery conversations

Every meeting
is a discovery
my newness overwhelms
every time

It is good he is forgetful
I can do only so much
scrubbing away
every trace of his passing
is tiresome work

there is only enough time
before he comes again

Inglesera ka ba?

Inglesera daw ko. Siguro sakto sila apan kini nga pagmatikod pirmi nato makit-an sa mga dili Bisdak.

Huna-hunaa ug lawom.

Ako lumad nga taga-Sugbo apan ang akong lingwahe saksak sinagol kay ang akong inahan gikan sa Masbate ug ang amahan kay gikan sa Biliran. Sa balay dili na mi makamatikod kung Waray, Sugbuanon o Masbateño ang gigamit. Mao kini nga nanginahanglan ming magsu-on nga mosulti ug pinaka-simple nga Bisaya sa among mga higala. Para lang gud dili kataw-an.

Dugangan pa nato ug Filipino (Kay dili man jud ko mosugot nga Tagalog ang atong opisyal nga lingwahe. Gikan ba diay ang "hinay-hinay" sa Tagalog"?) nga gitudlo gikan grade one hangtod grade 6. Usa ra sab ni ka subject. Ang uban kay gitudlo gamit ang Iningles.

Mao na ni karon.

Ang mga Bisdak maghuna-huna gamit ang Bisaya. Ang ikaduha nato nga lingwahe kay Iningles. Ang Filipino kay ikatulo ra jud. Kunga kita molangyaw sa laing nasod, pirmi nato gamiton ang Iningles. Kung makakita ta ug Pinoy, mag-Filipino ta apan sa pagsinulti-ay ug dugay masipyat jud ug Iningles.

Inglesera jud ang mga Bisdak noh?

Kung sa mga Bisdak lang, wa jud na problema kung mag-Iningles ang imong ka-storya. Bahala na ug barok nga Iningles, go jud dayon. KAY MAS BAROK man ang atong Filipino. WAAAAAh!!! Apan sa mga dili Bisdak kini nga tungod ug tinguha :-) usa ka dakong sagpa!

Ngano kaha?

Paminaw nako, didto sa ilaha ang mga mag-Iningles kay kadto ra jud mga trying hard nga pa-sosyal. Maski ang Iningles nimo tarong ug sakto, wa gihapon na nada kay sa ilahang huna-huna nagpa-sosyal ka.

Ang akong amigo nga usa sab ka Bisdak (sa Ateneo mi-skwela ug naa na sa Canada nag-masteral) mas ngilngig ug huna-huna. Matod pa niya, dako ni nga-issue sa mga dili Bisdak tungod kay didto sa ilaha ang maayo ug Iningles kadto ra jud ang naka-adto ug mga nindot nga eskuwelehan. Ergo, sosyalin og adunahan kuno by nature.

Way pugsanay oy. Lisod mag-translate.

Kay bungoton na akong egg cells (because my egg cells have grown beards)

I once promised myself that I won´t have kids anymore after 30. Then that year passed and I compromised with 35 (rationalizing) that the World Health Organization has raised the primipara child-bearing age to 40). Well, that is also about to pass and now I am faced with the prospect of "hey, there might not be a gene bag to pass on the smarts to." You see, before considering raising a tiny version of me (horrors!) one needs a willing sperm donor. Willing in the sense that he must be participatory in the kid´s moulding into a productive member of the community. There lies the crux of the matter.

All this thinking and muttering came about after I viewed the friendster profiles of my friends Mariliz, Ogi and Joyce Lureñana. Always, they had pictures of them holding up their greatest achievements. Hmmm...I have no great achievement really, other than being the source of amusement of friends who marvel at the lengths I would go to run away from the ordinary. Well, not having kids is certainly not ordinary...far from humdrum really...I mean, I get to borrow and return the kids to their parents??!!!!???

Maybe I am just bored now. A little antsy from waddling around my new empty flat trying to figure out how to lift a heavy table without breaking its legs and my back. It was not so bad back home but now I am missing a few things with a vengeance!

I miss Larsian barbecue (tami-is ug makasakit sa tiyan)
I miss Talisay seafoods (kanang sinugba nga kitong)
I miss the smell of the sea (the sea here does not smell of salt)
I miss San Mig strong ice (naa diri miabot pale pilsen og light ra)
I miss drinking wine with Mama in her garden (naa siya Thailand karon)
I miss fighting with my sisters ( kay layo sila duha: Bangkok ug Zambia)
I miss going to the movies in the afternoon (kay gabi-i ra ang sine diri)
I am missing a man (one in particular)
I miss talking to Philwide staff (and maybe also scolding them).
I miss my Dad (maski gahi og ulo og sige mangasaba)

I am in short, missing all the things I am supposed to have but cannot because there are some things I must do. Responsibilities have caught up with me. I just wish the World Health Organization is right about the 40 thing.

Comrade

She swallowed gray
a mouthful of false hues
drawn from weeping women
baking sorrow from scratch
...later
she joined them in the making
of gaudy gift baskets
for other women
who wish to swallow gray

Heading for downtown Reykjavik

He tells me
that women should
speak their mind
and ask men
for temporary loving
in the shadow
of fierce fires burning
inside bottled lust

He says to pour out
heavy sorrows
and let the wind do
what it wills
throw up droplets
or pull down rain
from clear skies

Maybe

He has forgotten
that tangos
are danced best by two
and if sorrows or lust
come together
it is not of their choosing

and always, always
it is the beat that matters

(for Gudjon who thinks so and Siggi who believes celibacy is not a choice)

If it could be twilight forever

I could maybe brave
the winters of loneliness.
Find solace in the silence
of a land, cold and warm
to new things thrown
on its icy shores

Tongue

THEY say that the best way to learn a language is in bed. Unfortunately, I am stuck in a timezone where names are far nowhere near moan-able. That being a criteria in my quest to conquer a tongue, this method of knowledge acquistion will have to be trashed. Tell, me...how do you very sexily say in the throes of passion..."oooh Sven, that´s it Thrxqjwhatchamcallit...." I´m a teeny bit scared of doing permanent damage to my throat.

When I arrived, eavesdropping in conversations was pretty much the norm. I could not understand anything of course but watching hand signals and eye movement quickly became a favorite sport. Divers will understand. It´s close to being underwater except that you are on dry land. It also seemed as if there was no gap between syllables. As the natives did their tongue acrobatics, I patient waited for a break...except that there wasn´t.

After 3 days, you begin to discern words. Being a woman, the first thing I learned was "Utsala" or sale. Then you learn things important to basic survival' borða for "come eat," myndd for "picture", nuna or "now," kokka for "coke...the soda," kukka for "to take a dump," lykki for "key"--the handcuffs part I will look up in a minute. You get my drift.

Today I tried to learn the colors. What I really wanted to learn were the bad words. But how do you try to sound intelligent and serious and worthy of being a co-worker when all you´ve been dying to learn were the colorful parts of a difficult language. Hmmm...maybe I should start with the body parts.

I am sure that given time, I will learn. This means actually speaking the language. One vow...learn the language before taking a holiday. I hope it won´t be too long because more than a year of being away from white sand tropical beaches can be a stretch.