Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Tagbo (Meeting)

He called it a summer moon. Warm nights when the wind forgets to stir grass blades and the air is pregnant with raindrops. Often, he would stop everything and declare an exploration. Visiting hidden valleys and conquering hills, leaving a trace of burning in his wake. But he only explored the familiar and forgot other valleys to explore.

She called it hunger. Parched earth, dry leaves and clear starlit skies promising colorful daybreaks. Often, she would head for streams and wait for his passing, looking for patterns as the water eddied around rocks. She would sit and sing with frogs, calling for rain.

Stepping off the boat, Rosario paused and looked up at the darkening sky, silently wishing for it to be summer again. It’s been five years since the last family reunion and they were about due for another one. This year, she volunteered to be the main contact person, hence this visit to Buenasuerte, the family resort. There were many things to accomplish: rebuild temporary huts, clean Lolo’s deep well, sweep the beaches and dig shallow ditches around the bonfire site.

The softest shadow of a smile stole into her face—there will be bonfires in Buenasuerte again.

Her cousin Lucio’s harsh cry broke into her thoughts, “Manay, will you be taking the pumpboat or the jeepney?”

“The jeepney ‘Yoy. How many times do I have to repeat myself? It’s always been the jeepney…you know how I hate to waste time!”

“Well then, you have to run. It’s about to leave and there’s room for only one more at the roof. Topload, Manay!”

Rosario slung her knapsack over one shoulder. Half-filled with canned goods, the bag was too heavy for running. But she ran and beat a Peace Corps volunteer trying to scramble up the roof. Panting heavily, she turned, waved and gave the volunteer a wry smile. She still has the touch. As they say, with probinsiya survival tactics, it is like riding a bike. Your instincts take over.

Taking a more careful stock of her precarious position, Rosario shifted slightly for balance. The first three miles confirmed her suspicion. The grade-A municipal roads the Congressman’s pork barrel fund already paid for, was simple fiction. It was going to be a rough ride and she will sneeze mud at the trip’s end.


The frogs never heeded her. They sang their own songs, unmindful of the rhythms and cadences of her chant. But their songs were for the same things: rain and wind to feed parched earth. She had been through a similar summer. Just before the mountain in the old land blew fire and wept hot mud. The whole town took off in small boats, heading for the opposite island. Here there were no tall mountains, only valleys and hills. Water flowed fast and clear in streams. No forests, but thickets giving welcoming cover from the heat of the midday sun. And the mangroves teemed with fish and snakes.

He called himself tindero, slurring his r’s, tongue-tip touching the roof of his mouth. They called him dayo, a stranger selling colorful blankets, steel pots and pans clanging from his pack. But he heard her singing with frogs and drank from the streams.

Before the breaking of the next round moon, they were wed.

And the rains fell.


Buenasuerte’s gate was hanging on one hinge. The sign propped by earth-filled milk cans. Only ‘Nang Cordia was still up, holding aloft a small Petromax lamp.

“Aring, is that you Aring?….I expected you three hours ago. What happened? Did the jeepney break down? Ahhhh, you must’ve gotten on Runner…. Elmer should take better care of his jeep! But he’s at Tanya’s. She has a new betamax tape. They say it’s x-rated and all the men finished up early to see it. Ahhhh….they will have more than a movie tonight. After all, Tanya has always been the perfect hostess.”

It is amazing how ‘Nang Cordia can fill one in on barrio gossip with just one breath. With half an ear cocked to ‘Nang Cordia’s prattle, Rosario breathed in and looked around slowly.

With every visit, the resort always had something different to show her. A newly discovered hollow carved by the crash of waves on the shore, a hidden bower of sampaguita blossoms—its heady scent filling the night, or a bench newly planed, the surf playfully brushing its legs. Five generations of de la Peña’s, and nothing permanent to show for their presence, except for the headstones and their epitaphs.

‘Nang Cordia can no longer keep up with the weeds and bokbok eating the pillars of the huts. The small family cemetery just off the main path appeared dim and unwelcoming. But for her the cemetery has always been a place of refuge. Many afternoons were spent reading epitaphs, running fingers over familiar names and remembering their stories.

“ You will have to sleep at our house tonight Aring. Last week, we saw a snake hanging from its eaves. Also, you need to talk to Tasyo tomorrow. We’ve heard whistles and running feet on many a moonless night…basin…they say it is the engkantos at play.”

“Ay, Manang…let them play. Maybe one night I will go out and join them.” Rosario smiled to herself. She’s heard similar stories before and always respected them.

He gave up his wandering, hunkered down and waited for the greening of his fields. Chewing tobacco, turning earth, digging ditches for water to flow from the streams. He walked his land and watched his baskets fill with grain.

It was sixteen turns of the seasons before the summer moon returned.


At daybreak, Rosario hurried off to Tasyo’s hut. “Ayo…ayo….’Nong Tasyo. It’s me, Aring!” She heard the clinking of glasses and short shuffling steps before seeing Old Tasyo’s face peeping through the half-open door.

It was the same face. Dark brown and lined with wrinkles so deep they were almost like irrigation furrows in rice paddies. But Aring could see that he did not know her. An opaque haze covered his eyes.

She moved closer and shouted out again, “Noy Tasyo, it’s me Aring.”

“Ay, Iday…how long has it been since you last visited? My last memory of you is of a dalaginding (teenage girl) crying because she cannot go to the baile (dance)…,” Tasyo rattled on, oblivious to Rosario’s attempts at conversation.

Tasyo’s hut was as she remembered it. Clear bottles filled with oil and mysterious roots from the mountains. Near the door, a half-filled sugong that his son always made sure to deliver first thing in the morning.

“Noy, a month from now they will all be back in Buenasuerte…”

“Tanan? How can everyone fit into three small guest houses Aring? Will Grace and her Americano husband Kid also come?”

“That’s what I’m here for—to make sure that everyone will have a place to stay. and yes, Grace and Kid will be here. Even Martina, daughter of Noel and Inga who both died in Switzerland.”

“I suppose all your other cousins as well?”

“Noy, that goes without saying. Even Berto Bundokan.”

“So, why was it not Berto who made the arrangements? Susmaryosep! He just lives in the next barrio.”

“You know Berto…he has his hands full with ten children and a wife at home. But I don’t want to talk about that…”
“You will need me for the bonfires. Just give me some time to look for fragrant sangig.”

The oldest of their five sons had been bathing the carabao when he returned. He had just returned from the source of the streams and in the banks, he’d seen the carcass of frogs. Bloated, reeking and quietly feeding maggots. The wells were dry, even the one he’d dug up with his own hands.

Walking slowly, he entered his house. He never said anything to her for he knew that she had seen the frogs. Inside, baskets were filled with grain and hollow gourds with water. Together, they bolted doors, secured fences, freed what livestock they could not carry and with provisions lashed tightly to the back of their beasts, the dayo led his family and their harvest to exile.


Aring rounded up thirty workmen. Wooed them with better food, better pay and a generator to drive away the darkness when naughty spirits played. The workmen did not mind so much that they heard the whistles. They just hated the dark.

Only two weeks to go, but the huts were up and bonfire ditches filled with water. Tomorrow, she will hang the signs in front of each shelter. Five signs…one for every branch of the clan. Sprung from five sons. Aring knew that they will come. Not everyone, because the oceans are too wide and too deep to cross. Maybe not everyone at the same time…but sooner or later they will find their way to the Buenasuerte.


When two of his sons found warm lips to kiss, he knew that it was time to head for home. He heard that rain clouds had been gathering for weeks in the horizon. Parched earth will soon be wet and ready for planting. Time was ripe to make the journey home.

They arrived at midday. One side of the fence was down and the door of their house swung crazily in the wind on one hinge. Tonight, they will sleep outside. He will build a fire to drive away curious animals and the cold of night. He foraged for food, hoping that the few lagutmon he’d planted survived the drought. Later, with water from the well, his wife filled the pot, added sangig and malunggay for flavor. She whispered the chant she learned from her mother… “Sun and summer moon fade away until frogs once more call for your coming…may the frogs sit in the dark waiting for their turn to sing.”


The first day is always a riot. Martina arrived and no one could understand her English. Berto showed up with only nine of his children, the youngest was still nursing and could not make the trip with his wife. Bags, packs and boxes piled up on bamboo balconies. The shrill screaming of children rent the quietness of cool summer air.
Only twenty on the first day: Joanah, Roman, Miguel, Katrina, Martina, Berto and his brood, Consuelo, Sharon, Jose, Lucio and Rosario. One long table for dinner.

Later, cognac and coffee in hand…they headed for the beach bonfire. ‘Noy Tasyo was already waiting, a pot of water was boiling, the fragrance of sangig and malunggay hung heavy in the air. Quietly forming a loose circle around the fire they whispered a chant they learned from their mothers.

It is time to chase the summer moon away.

Friday, September 24, 2004

Cottage Days

What is your dream?

Mine is of living in a bamboo cottage by the sea with shelves full of books and Internet access. Once a month, I would go for weekend forays into the so-called city where I will sit and listen to friends lament about their lost loves.

This dream intrudes into my consciousness on just the kind of days we are experiencing. You know, slightly downcast with just the hint of rain felt every time the wind blows. This is because on days like these, I can barely will myself to leave my bed and get the coffeemaker going.

Suddenly, I cross my fingers and wish real hard that I had enough money allowing me to throw caution to the wind, pack bags and forget the 9 to 5 grind.

Snug. Yes, that is how I picture the cottage to be. The comfort of wood and huge throw pillows scattered around an open balcony. Nipa— yes, that is what the roof should be. Airy and comforting, I won't even mind when chickens roost on its eaves.

Morning chores will be a joy. The rush and retreat of tides a welcome accompaniment to laundry and cooking. I will eat simple food, camote and corn grown by neighbors and flavored with mint and basil growing in pots around the house. Fish will be my source of protein, pork and beef eaten only during the local fiesta when it's rude to refuse a neighbor.

And I will run. Along the seashore, or under coconut trees. Never mind the thorns, holes and angry goats that join the chase. I will run because this dream frees me.

This is my promise.

At night, by lamplight, I will listen to stories of sigbin's and kapre's. Maybe even see a white lady or two walking on the seashore. If I'm lucky, one of them might even wave an invitation to their dance.

In your dream, is there someone with you? I can never tell. Sometimes, a shadow falls on the page of a book I'm reading. At other times, I hear a voice whispering my name. But this is better than before when there was never anyone. No hint of someone else in that little bamboo home. After all, who would be crazy enough to live in a house with only camote to fill the spaces gouged by hunger?

Still, you can never account for all that happens in dreams. It is an inverse universe where all your wants become realities and unfulfilled needs are shunted off into that little space in your mind labeled "something to be forgotten."

Does it really matter? Whether alone or with a significant other, our dreams are the reason why we work. The only reason why we persist to exist.

And the best thing about dreams? You don't have to apologize about it.