Kuwang gihapon

Way pulos ang gakos
og dili matimbang ang halok
Pag-abot sa panahong
Imo na lang hinumdomon
ang giangkong kagahapon

 

Auntie Letty, Mama and me on my first

visit to Maripipi (Daddy's hometown).

It was my 6th birthday and boy was I
a great show-off!

TODAY, I woke up with a soundless scream. Last thing I remember about my dream was of me talking with my Mom and suddenly realized with finality that this was just a dream and will never happen again. At least not in this lifetime.

Working in a country 360 degrees different from where I was born is obviously a challenge. First to come to mind are the cultural differences. How subtle societal signals have to be relearned and assimilated into your arsenal of coping mechanisms. Factor in also that you are as far away from your normal support system. True, technology has made the world smaller and my Mom just always a phone call away. Yet, those fleeting (though frequent) exchanges could never substitute for the times we sat in the garden after work, Mama in her hammock and me on my favorite white garden chair going over family gossip and dreams of success.

On moving to Iceland, I used to call Mama after work. It would be almost midnight here and just before breakfast in the tropics. She would be sitting down to a cup of hot chocolate made from home-roasted cacao beans, maybe making meal plans with my cousine while waiting for whoever was to drive her to work. You see, Mama still saw patients until 2 months before she died. Her days were always full and challenging. She had her garden where she trained her bonsai, her beloved dogs and a mid-afternoon snack where everyone in the house would gather for coffee and bread.

Mama was everything to me and my sisters. She was and always be an ideal that I will always strive to become. Even now, I find that I cannot continue writing because the loss is still heavy in my heart.

I have always heard people say...remember to tell your Mom that you love her everyday. Well, I did and that was not enough. The truth is, however many hugs you give her, however many kisses you share, however you try to make her life as comfortable as it can be. IT CAN NEVER BE ENOUGH.

I love you Mama. See you soon.